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Turning points and persistent body image issues after major weight loss

67 replies26 peopleSep 21, 2026☆ Follow
Summary

How do individuals experience and manage body image, health factors, and lifestyle changes following significant weight loss prompted by life disruptions?

Participants describe life events like illness or breakups as catalysts for weight loss, followed by ongoing dissatisfaction and altered self-perception even at normal BMI levels. Health considerations such as autoimmune issues, fatigue, and abdominal fat are discussed alongside partner input and medical advice against further reduction. Supportive elements include accountability measures and renewed fitness aims, while differing views emerge on the role of dissatisfaction in motivating continued effort versus achieving acceptance.

What this discussion establishesWhere people disagree

Whether ongoing body dissatisfaction tends to diminish over time or instead fuels further gym work and recomp efforts

Still open

How individuals ultimately balance weight maintenance, body recomposition, and self-acceptance

Nothing here is advice.

67 replies · 26 people · page 1 of 2
RustLantern55archiveopening post6d

Other discussions touch on maintenance timing but my situation feels a bit off from those. I changed my target after hitting the first mark and then going past it. Now I'm unsure about stopping the shots or lowering the dose. Fat remains on me even though I appear slim rather than thin. Back when I was younger I stayed muscular and fit enough to outdo most guys at physical stuff. Health problems ended my active days so strength sits at an ordinary level and I hardly move around. Without that old muscle bulk my frame feels soft everywhere and it throws me off. I'm female thirty two and five foot seven. Back in mid February I started at two hundred seven pounds aiming for one seventy because that matched my strongest period when I weighed one fifty five. Now I'm down to one forty five and the scale keeps dropping. Padding is still there even if the outline matches my old powerful build. I realize exercise and a smaller deficit would help rebuild muscle. Honestly another twenty pounds of fat could come off before I hit a basic slim look though that's not what I want. Ten pounds less would probably leave me looking firmer from reduced softness. Deciding when enough is lost feels tricky because my view of my size has shifted. Friends act worried since I seem bony to them yet I know that's just the change from my former curves. Nothing under one fifty has happened since age fourteen so this feels unfamiliar and less rewarding than I pictured back then because I don't find the result appealing on myself. An athletic appearance still appeals more but without training like before I'll stay unhappy until I change that. Right now the dose sits near eight milligrams every five to seven days though I sometimes skip the usual day.

NorthWillow72archive6d
↳ replying to @RustLantern55 (opening post)

I aimed to drop several pounds below my target weight. This provided some flexibility during the upkeep phase if difficulties arose. My target was set within the standard body mass index range. Being older now, that weight doesn't feel identical to what it did back in my teenage years, yet I'm fine with it. Everyone's situation differs, so choosing a lower target like that and then working on muscle development afterward might achieve the desired outcome. Since you're still young and have made great progress already, follow whatever brings you satisfaction.

GreenKettle64archive6d

People's remarks do not affect me so I persist however long I choose unless I turn severely underweight and then it all turns out okay

I'm female around 145 pounds or 66 kilos with a BMI near 24 and limited muscle mass so dropping much more doesn't seem like something to stress over. Another 5 or 10 kilos could start causing issues though. Reaching 55 kilos lands at a BMI of 19.7 which strikes me as fairly low. Building muscle through activity looks better for long term health than cutting further and I'm nowhere near any unsafe zone. Sustainability over months and years really counts when it comes to holding steady because a modestly higher number that allows a few extra calories daily tends to feel more manageable than pushing lower and needing quite restricted intake.

IronLantern24archive6d

I'm still having trouble with this issue. Even though I've gone past my target, my appearance isn't what I hoped for. Back when I was younger, I hit this same number but my physique looked much better. At that time I focused on pilates, whereas lately I've mostly stuck to strength exercises without much of that. I avoid cardio and don't push myself to perspire enough. At 52, recovery takes longer due to age and also the impacts from reta, which makes me skip workouts more often. I'm looking forward to mixing in tirz while lowering reta, hoping that will boost my motivation and stamina so I can target body fat rather than fixating on the scale. It seems harder to maintain the right shape once you're older and past menopause.

WarmAnchor55archive6d

Nothing else comes to mind for me to add here, apart from pointing out the value of reaching a stage where you along with your physician both feel at ease. Wishing you well on this. A handful of comparable discussions have crossed my path lately. Efforts to reset my personal goals are in progress, in hopes of being better equipped by the time my turn comes around. Carrying extra weight has followed me ever since childhood at age eight.

BlueAnchor59archive6d

I reached my target and chose to remain on it. This worked out nicely for me, meaning I had no desire to discontinue and observe any possible reversal. For my situation, having enough focused on keeping the results steady instead of deciding on an end date.

WryPebble78archive6d

My target has changed from focusing on the number on the scale to looking at body fat percentage instead. It's funny how reaching fifteen percent would put me just a few pounds away from the original weight target, if my figures are accurate.

People keep bringing up the same patterns in discussions. They mention wanting their old appearance back but then admit it's not realistic or even the goal, yet still think dropping extra pounds will stop them from seeming overweight like before. They also insist they won't bother with any physical activity, so the medication is supposed to handle everything by itself. Without that effort these substances just reduce overall size while leaving the body's makeup unchanged, which means ending up smaller but still unpleasantly flabby. To me this points straight toward lasting muscle decline, growing distance from family and friends who end up pushed aside, and mental health organizations eventually labeling a fresh kind of self-image problem linked to these drugs.

↳ replying to @RustLantern55 (opening post)

I can recall hitting that age of thirty two and reflecting on the previous ten years. Back then I stayed active and participated in all sorts of competitions just like you do now. But once those years arrived I eased up on my habits a bit. Some old school pals visited the area for a ceremony and proposed climbing a peak. I figured I would still take the front spot on such outings but it did not go as planned. Midway through the ascent people started asking if I was fine due to my heavy breathing and soon I fell behind as the pace was too much. That moment really opened my eyes. Since hiking has always been something I enjoy it turned into a big interest. Eventually I reached a point where I could climb that peak multiple times consecutively at a fast pace. This activity also introduced me to others who formed a central circle of companions. By the time I reached my forties I took part in structured long distance trail races covering over thirty miles. Our group often traveled to do a rim to rim crossing and return which covered forty two miles in less than eleven hours. Those are just some accomplishments but what I want to share is that when I was your current age I believed my active days had ended. Even with any limitations from health issues there are still opportunities ahead to test that drive for competition. The peak condition of my entire life actually occurred around the middle of my forties when the trail companions began referring to me by that speedy nickname. Plenty of challenges remain possible for you to pursue.

↳ replying to @RustLantern55 (opening post)

Getting a DEXA scan turned out to be a great choice for me. The results were very precise and reflected my true status accurately. I found two options available locally, one at a fixed location and another from a traveling service at a lower cost. It also measured bone density, which proved useful for women.

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @CopperPebble16

My first impulse is to reply defensively here. Yet some of your points hold up. Clearly I react too strongly to criticism. You don't really know who I am after all. I'm not the type of woman who prioritizes thinness above everything else. My current choice to skip intense training for a more defined physique comes from actual obstacles in my life. What one person calls soft might not match what another thinks. In my view falling short of top performance in strength or speed against all other women in the area would make me inadequate. This all or nothing approach to many areas leaves me dealing with constant frustration and negative self views these days. During my active period I handled sets of curls with thirty five pounds and hit a maximum of fifty. How many typical teenage girls without performance enhancers could match that level? I also completed large numbers of abdominal exercises in a row and held positions for extended periods. My education costs were covered thanks to my dedication and physical condition. So I understand the effort required for building strength. Certain ongoing medical problems currently make physical activity much tougher than before. For that reason my appearance doesn't match what I prefer. On top of that I maintain connections with relatives and companions even when their views differ from mine or they express concern. Handling difficult discussions is necessary for grown up bonds and caring for each other involves addressing issues regardless of agreement. I refuse to label people as harmful and cut ties simply because they don't validate every choice especially when I'm mistaken. I can accept guidance admit errors and handle uncomfortable realities. Although your assessment isn't entirely off it seems based on a simplified take of my words and the delivery lacks compassion.

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @BrightBramble19

Yeah that seems like a clever idea for the step after this.

ClearAnchor13archive6d

When my wife stops calling me fat.

ClearAnchor13archive6d
↳ replying to @BrightBramble19

Quite some time in the past while on an earlier effort to drop excess weight I tried out that particular measurement pod and it counted as the top reference back then. I am curious if the scan device has now become the current top reference.

GreyFenwick31archive6d
↳ replying to @CopperPebble16

I understand that perspective completely. Being female myself, I've experienced weights from one twenty up to one ninety. My body carried those pounds differently depending on the time in my life. When I weighed around one twenty to one twenty five during my early twenties, I appeared very thin and bony, yet it suited me then and felt right. On the day I married, at one thirty five, everything seemed balanced and well. After having children, there were fluctuations, and during lower periods I reached one thirty. Photos from then surprise me now because I seemed so slender without noticing it at the time. My target is one forty where I expect to feel comfortable, while building strength since recovering muscle becomes tougher with age. Recently at a swimming area I noticed my legs, especially the one hurt in an incident months ago, haven't fully recovered. So I must emphasize building power to manage skiing season ahead. I hope dropping pounds won't lead to any clinical label for disordered eating.

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @NorthWillow72

These days my looks seem average, though my strength falls short of what I'd prefer. Getting fitter just for looks doesn't motivate me much, especially with how sick I've felt lately. What really drives me is wanting to stay on top among the women playing softball in the local league. Right now a teenager half my age is outperforming me, which is funny.

WryPebble78archive6d
↳ replying to @BrightBramble19

It's really cool to get a dexa scan so inexpensively. A three-dimensional scanner is available locally for similar cost, yet dexa scans typically run much higher each time.

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @GreyFenwick31

Body changes after having children really hit hard. That distorted view of your own shape is definitely a thing. Back in university with visible abs I still saw myself as unattractive and pudgy. What a ridiculous way to think. After my first baby and the added pounds I reached the higher end of normal on the scale and felt completely useless for the first time. Those chemical shifts go wild. Wishing you a great time on the slopes this season! Looks like loads of fun!

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @CopperSignal27

Really glad you shared your thoughts here. It helps me see the whole situation in a clearer light.

↳ replying to @GreyFenwick31

Hmm, I suppose those kinds of forecasts amount to nothing except sexist attempts at control. People might accept them or expose them for that.

GreyFenwick31archive6d
↳ replying to @RustLantern55

Keep crushing it! Even though you're not as old as I am, these days I think of building power more for staying healthy longer instead of appearance. I've always had good strength naturally, yet getting older has reduced it somewhat, which pushes me to hold onto what muscle I can. Recently I tried squats while holding my feline friend. The little guy tips the scale at fourteen pounds, meaning extra resistance beyond my body alone, plus he's very affectionate. Lol

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @GreyFenwick31

🤣🤣 Maybe I ought to try squatting while holding the pup. At twenty four pounds he'd probably tolerate the motion fine lol. The cat would leave me hurting if I tried though.

GreyFenwick31archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

Which of us are you labeling as anti-women, me or the other guy who kept babbling nonsense?

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

Those trails around the huge canyon look fantastic. Wishing I could regain my drive and resume doing them the same way you managed.

GreyFenwick31archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

That reply came across as very caring and helpful 💖

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @IronLantern24

My usual tiredness is getting worse because I haven't been getting enough protein in my diet lately, leaving me more tired than normal. There was a period when I felt much more energetic following my lupus episode, but now things seem off again. Fainting spells have returned. I'm thinking about beginning iron pills since I've had low levels before. A heavy bleed during my cycle recently probably lowered my iron stores further. I should have additional tests done. It might actually be helpful to be past menopause, though I doubt I'll feel that way once it arrives. 😅🤣

↳ replying to @RustLantern55

Those experiences stood out as truly wonderful times. Months went into building up endurance beforehand. The bulk of that long route got covered by running, spanning forty two miles along with two point five miles of total ascent. Comments from others often focused on going slow just to take in the sights around the gorge. My response pointed out the eleven hours spent right there inside, which allowed full observation of all details. What stood out most though was the sense of peak condition making movement almost effortless, with the ground feeling easy with every step forward. Ignoring current health concerns for a moment, opportunities for new tests of ability still exist ahead. It seems your own inner push to compete echoes the one from my younger times. Now at nearly sixty nine, greater happiness comes from those past accomplishments than from having missed out on them completely.

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

Man, I sure do crave that effortless glide during tough training sessions. It’s something I crave deeply now. Bounding skyward with ease and covering long stretches on foot without panting at all. Boy, those recollections feel pretty great.

GreyFenwick31archive6d

Whew, that reply really threw me with its blunt tone. I tend to handle direct talk okay when it's with people I know well in person, but this felt different because of the sweeping assumptions and slight edge of contempt. It came across as unsupportive overall, even if it raised a couple of genuine worries about those medications. In my own experience shifts in body size can really scramble your thoughts for reasons that surprise you, though laying that out would take way longer than a quick post. Throwing out quick criticisms that way just strikes me as weak.

GreyFenwick31archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

Skiing is such an exciting activity for me. The rush feels incredible, especially when I sense the terrain beneath as I manage my movements at any pace I pick. It brings so much joy and a real boost of confidence.

NorthWillow72archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

I find the desert has a unique and calming quality. My home was there for quite some time, and I really liked going on hikes through the canyons. It wasn't like your level of passion for it, but I did like doing that when the day was nice, definitely not during July 😛

↳ replying to @RustLantern55

At thirty two and dealing with some medical concerns I just shrug and adapt using my current situation to channel ambition into activities that let my competitive side show through.

....and...glad to see your picture back with someone again...nice... 👍

RustLantern55archive6d
↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

I decided to be a little daring. That mood is sure to pass before long, I reckon haha!

↳ replying to @RustLantern55

That was what I expected all along, yet it remains an eye-catching accessory anyway. ❤️

↳ replying to @NorthWillow72

The arid lands have always appealed to me. This is the sole location I chose to relocate to deliberately. All prior moves came from employment reasons, career shifts, education, or similar factors. Nearly four decades have passed since my arrival. One aspect that stands out during treks through these dry expanses is my avoidance of tunes. In professional settings, domestic tasks, or while driving, audio is essential. Yet on footpaths here, silence prevails. Instead, I notice wind rustling, avian calls, and footsteps on the path. Any soundtrack would feel disruptive to the experience. Moreover, ear coverings would mask the warning sounds from venomous reptiles.

↳ replying to @CopperPebble16

Trying to recapture earlier days won't achieve anything. Shedding more fat relative to muscle improves overall body makeup positively. My percentage of body fat has decreased by over half and is nearing a two thirds drop. This represents true body recomposition. Some claim muscle wasting can't be reversed, yet what makes that permanent? Scans showed my lean tissue reduced by nine pounds while total weight fell fifty four pounds. I've continued losing another eighteen pounds after the final scan, reaching ninety three pounds altogether. With one third less bodyweight, less muscle is needed just to move around daily. Halting this ongoing thousand calorie daily restriction after nine months should allow my stored energy to return partially. Including creatine and regular weight training sessions, reaching higher lean mass levels than at the year's beginning seems possible. Peptides serve as my main tool for controlling weight without any food limits or physical activity required to sustain the deficit.

RustLantern62archive5d

It was many years back when I was last at a healthy weight. For my height of 186 cm that meant staying between 85 and 90 kg. Myocarditis hit and three months of inactivity added the first 20 kg. Quitting smoking made the pounds pile on fast, peaking at 150 kg last December. That hit the limit for me, though discomfort started after passing 100 kg.

I sometimes question whether satisfaction with my body can ever truly arrive after so many years of feeling unhappy about my size from carrying extra weight. These new medications have made something that once felt out of reach suddenly doable reaching a healthy size and holding it steady at least for now and maybe longer. Even so I still catch myself thinking I look heavy around the stomach area even though the scale shows a normal reading compared to where things began at a much higher number. I do not mind the improvement but after living with that view of myself since childhood plus only short stretches when the number dropped before the feeling never really left. That old discomfort with my reflection sticks around even after the pounds come off which might explain why quite a few here throw themselves into lifting and building muscle once the weight drops trying to shake off the leftover image of being large. At least the extra activity does not harm health.

↳ replying to @SteadySparrow75

I stopped teaching at university when I turned thirty-three and switched to working with horses full-time across America and Europe. By thirty-six I had a lovely Brazilian kid who competes in show jumping. Most of my grown-up years I looked like an overweight scholar, yet I still carried the strength built from years of physical labor on farms throughout my adulthood. I know my thirties won't return, and I'll leave my forties soon enough, which doesn't bother me. I'll keep going out on my old horses at a gentle pace until it's time to switch to others that are a bit less old. I'll remain active with a positive attitude, content, and focus on being the healthiest I can in my circumstances 😂

QuietCinder50archive5d

A relationship ending sent me spiraling downward. At that point I weighed around 130 kilograms, relied heavily on substances, and lacked any goals for a long period. I wondered who could care for me if I no longer cared for myself. For several months I stayed away from everyone and used up my savings on those substances just to avoid facing reality. Eventually I understood I required another way to handle the stress and direct my efforts toward something constructive. I resumed physical training after many years and rediscovered my enthusiasm for it. So far I have shed more than 60 kilograms of body fat, reached peak physical condition, and have more to achieve. The past events still affect me emotionally, yet each day I aim to improve slightly over the previous one. I continue pushing forward.

Being in such a bad spot really pushed me into action. Covid wiped out what I was doing for work, so I sold my home. Ended up staying with my former partner in a run-down spot, though I appreciated having somewhere since finding a rental around here is tough. I weighed 145kg back then, dealing with ongoing health problems and could hardly manage even a short walk. That whole mess gave me the push to change my circumstances, beginning with dropping some weight before tackling anything further. About a year later, I'd lost 70kg, picked up a more affordable property, and felt capable of maintaining it.

QuietCinder50archive5d
↳ replying to @CopperSignal27

That's fantastic news! I totally share your view. It's surprising the way such things can shift your path entirely.

PlainAlder11archive5d
↳ replying to @NorthWillow72

When I reached my second target around 165 pounds I tried easing off but kept lowering the intake every four weeks from ten milligrams down to six and still shed an extra ten pounds anyway. I began eating bigger portions with things like potatoes plus pasta and other carbohydrates while having more beer yet the pounds kept coming off and especially the abdominal fat vanished. Some weight returned later though it could have been just fluid retention. That remark matches exactly what my current weight is at 165 considering my age and how things stood back in high school.

WrySignal35archive5d

The time my tiny outfits ended up too large on me.

SlowHarbour21archive5d
↳ replying to @RustLantern55 (opening post)

People might criticize me for saying this yet it doesn't bother me. Most ladies seem dissatisfied with their appearance aside from those who really have no reason to be. Even a popular movie star probably has her own list of perceived imperfections if she thought about it. But that's fine since having aspirations is part of life. The key thing I'd like to know is how your spouse feels about it.

RustLantern55archive5d
↳ replying to @SlowHarbour21

That's a fair question to ask. My partner isn't bothered by my weight in any way, yet he seems truly glad when I feel better about myself and we end up being intimate more often after I drop the extra pounds. At the moment he doesn't see me as skinny, but I guess that might shift in the near future.

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